It’s July 3rd so I figured this would be a light, uneventful train ride. And, it pretty much was until I got to the half way point. I was minding my business – looking online when all of a sudden my nose got mugged! I shot my head up to see if there was a baby in the area. But, nope…no baby to blame. The more I looked around, the less I could breathe. I cut off my sense of smell the best I could, but I couldn’t breathe because my lips had already pressed together tightly to protect my mouth. After a few minutes, I couldn’t hold all of that so I panicked and eventually lost control of everything…frantically gasping for air as I looked down and regretted my FitBit wasn’t a medical alert bracelet…help.
I eventually caught my breath and looked around. I got increasingly pissed that everyone else was looking so normal…as if they couldn’t smell anything. I’m about to die and they aren’t even wrinkling their noses! Wtf?!! I wanted to yell – Y’ALL DON’T SMELL THAT SHIT – literally! Cause it definitely was not a fart – it had to be a shart…or worse.😩
As the train cleared a bit, the smell dissipated. I started thinking seriously about the fact that my sense of smell may just be extra sensitive like my ability to hear. I promise y’all, neither of those are blessings. Ability to hear and smell, yes. Extra sensitive smelling and hearing abilities, no! Of all the freaking superpowers, why those?! Why can’t I wake up and see without having to grab for my glasses that my son swears can burn ants? Why not super speed so I would’ve been able to escape as soon as that smell hit my nose? Or, super strength so I could become a Marvel Marta vigilante character? I could think of a very long list of superpowers I’d prefer, but I guess I’m stuck smelling and hearing a bunch of crap I don’t want to. Or just maybe, my true superpower is staying on the functional side of insanity…appearing totally normal while all of these crazy thoughts scramble around my head. I’ll take that. 😏